Turning thoughts into real things

Every big or small accomplishment achieved by mankind started life as an idea, a thought in a persons mind.  When we have an idea that we believe to be of value we start to focus on it and think about it more often. 

The more we think about it the more we build up our belief and our motivation to take some action.  The more motivated we become the more action we take and the closer we move toward turning our idea into a concrete thing.  The closer we get to turning our idea into a concrete thing the more we build our self-confidence, the more self-motivated we become and the more action we take!

“Cooking” our own success…part 1

Could we draw certain parallels between cake baking and success making?  Before reading further, spend a moment to mentally write a list of all the ingredients you need to bake a cake then read on, answering a few simple questions as you go. 

Who am I and what do I want?

Becoming self-aware is a life long journey.  We think we know everything when we’re young, only to realise later that if we’re really lucky we’ll still be learning about ourselves and growing personally right up till the end of our life!

Have you ever wondered why some people seam so happy within themselves, their contagious behaviour and attitude toward life spilling over and infecting everyone they come into contact with, while others drag themselves through life seemingly up-set with every step they take?

Motivated behaviour – an iceberg!

When we imagine an iceberg in our mind we see the waterline and the peak of the iceberg sticking up above the water.  However we also know that the invisible part of the iceberg below the waterline makes up the bulk of the iceberg and dictates in which direction the iceberg travels. 

When comparing an iceberg to human behaviour and motivation we can draw certain parallels. 

Closing the self-skills gap

The more we become aware of the importance of developing young peoples self-awareness, self-confidence and self-belief the more we realise what building blocks are required in our current educational system in order to bridge the self-skills teaching/learning gap.

Some things in life are nice to have and others are a must have! 

Self-skills education - the next revolution?

We had the industrial revolution and we are deep into the technological revolution, could self-skills education be the next revolution?

The world population has witnessed huge changes over the past two to three decades.  In some ways these changes have sneaked up on us without us realising!  It’s a bit like growing your hair; you look at yourself every day and don’t notice much change, however when you meet an old friend who hasn’t seen you for a long time they immediately see a big change in you. 

Lets think about some of the changes that have quietly worked their magic on us over the past 30-40 years without us really noticing.  These include:

Going nowhere positive…a global challenge!?

Here in the UK 15% of the population of 16-24 year old young people are going nowhere positive…fast! 

The situation is that they have passed through the compulsory educational system, gained little in the way of formal qualifications, learned little that is relevant to the world of work and life out with school and find themselves with little hope, or opportunity.

Soft-skills – how do we get them?

Everyone is aware of the term soft-skills, less people are familiar with the term self-skills. 

Employers refer to soft-skills a great deal, seeking to recruit individuals who possess “inter personal skills”, “communication skills”, “positive attitude”, “determined confident individuals” etc.

KPMG, a leading provider of professional services in the UK, has produced a report, Global Skills for Graduates in Financial Services, which emphasises that current graduates entering the sector are usually technically proficient but are very often lacking in soft business skills.  The "soft" skills employers feel many graduates lack include teamwork, good communication, drive, energy and a "can do" attitude.

Ian Gomes, chairman of KPMG's new and emerging markets practice, said:

Self-enabling or self-limiting beliefs – your subconscious doesn't know the difference!

Imagine you’re a paperboy or papergirl walking up a driveway toward a house with your papers and a big dog attacks you and bites your bum!  Firstly, you feel some pain in your bum and secondly, for the first time you’re having thoughts like “some dogs bite” or “why did the dog bite me?”

Imagine you go up the next driveway and another different dog bites your bum.  Again it’s a painful experience for you.  Your earlier thought, that some dogs bite, might now change to “quite a lot of dogs bite”, or “why are these dogs biting me?” 

Imagine you walk up a third driveway and another dog bites you  – your bum is very painful now and you might be thinking and BEGINNING TO BELIEVE that “all dogs bite!” 

Go up the fourth driveway and you see a dog slavering, growling and teeth showing…

“How will you behave when you see the 4^th dog showing its teeth, growling and slavering?” 

Self-esteem and the spiralling effect

Each time we allow ourselves to do something that makes us feel bad we lower our opinion of ourselves.  Continued involvement in such activities can lead us to form destructive beliefs about ourselves.  The more we engage in destructive activities and encourage these negative thoughts and feelings the stronger our destructive beliefs grow, the less we like ourselves and the lower our self-esteem becomes.  

When we know that we have done something good we feel better about ourselves and our self-image improves. Continued involvement in such activities can lead us to form constructive beliefs about ourselves.  The more we engage in constructive activities and encourage these positive thoughts and feelings the stronger our constructive beliefs grow, the more we like ourselves and the better our self-image becomes.  

We believe that one of the most important things every person can do to help build their own self-esteem is to think about their own behaviours and actions and the resulting thoughts and feelings and ask themselves:

The internal workings of self-confidence

One of the greatest challenges that we all face when building our own self-confidence in relation to a particular issue or activity is the internal voice that gives us reasons why we can’t achieve at the thing we are thinking about doing.  I’m sure you have heard the voices inside your own head, you know the ones, “you’re too young or you’re too old”, “you don’t have enough money” or “you don’t have the knowledge or the experience”. 

Another issue that has a significant effect on us is the self-deprecating language we use with ourselves when we do not achieve to our own expectations, we tell ourselves we have “failed”.  This type of thinking acts as additional firepower for our internal voice to use against us in the future.  I’m sure you’ll recognise the thought “it didn’t work last time so it won’t work this time either”.

Experiencing self-awareness

Daniel Goleman brought the concept of emotional intelligence (EI) into the public eye.  One simple interpretation of EI is:

“The ability to recognise and manage your own behaviours and emotions for the benefit of yourself and those around you”

Assuming we accept that in order to successfully manage our own behaviours and emotions we must first learn about ourselves and how others perceive us, then the questions become:

“How do we develop more self-awareness and why is it important to be more self-aware?”

Self-skills fluctuation theory

How about we consider the idea that the below can be described as self-skills?

• Self-awareness
• Self-confidence
• Self-esteem
• Self-belief

Lets also assume that our self-skills can "fluctuate" up or down depending on one or more of the following conditions.  Our emotional state, our level of energy, our awareness of the situation we face, our previous experiences of similar situations, how we behaved in the past and our perception of weather or not we were good/bad, unsuccessful or successful.

OK, lets test this "fluctuation" theory - does it work with each of the self-skills listed above?

What are self-skills?

So where shall I start?  OK, I've thought of an opening, how about thinking of the more commonly referred to soft-skills and asking ourselves if they are related to self-skills, are they part of the same family, are they just friends or neighbours or is there no connection what so ever?  Are there some similarities, is one driven by another?  What are your thoughts?

OK, so I'm aware that it may take some time before you find my Blog!  So here goes......let me start a conversation with myself.